ONE love – 36 hours in Miami – Part 1

I’m breaking this into two parts so my blog partner doesn’t fire me for posting tardiness.  That’s a thing.  And I seem to have mastered it.

So, Horseface tried to make a move to my side of the bed the other night . . .



I told him I had ‘a headache’ and I only don’t ‘have a headache’ on kidless vacays at fabulous hotels.  Do you think this tactic will work?  I’d do pretty much anything to get myself back to . . .


EVERYTHING about this place was spot on.  My typical MO is spending so much time planning and researching the perfect trip that it can never live up to my expectations.  This year we nailed it.  {The last trip to South Beach resulted in our entire stay being comped so you can gather how that went. Doh!}

SO we were pleasantly surprised when the 1 came through.

The arrival:

We arrived around 9 PM on a Wednesday evening after we ditched the kids with Mimi. Beginning with the sweet smell of something unidentifiable that filled the gorgeous lobby when we walked in (perhaps, the scent of freedom?)  Whatever it was, it was divine and I’d like more of it in my life.

screen-shot-2017-03-02-at-8-45-02-amChecked in with no major incidents and were handed some round wood chip like key thingy to our space ship elevator.


 I honestly can’t fathom how this all works.  And I don’t care.  I just need.  more.

The concept is SO ON BRAND.  I felt like I walked into Beautycounter-land.  Everything was re-cycled, re-purposed, re-fabulous!  Plants and moss and life – living breathing walls and aesthetically pleasing sustainability everywhere.


read more about this mural via The New York Times


moss heart under the EXIT sign on our floor.

Then the room.  The largest by far I’ve stayed in South Beach (stayed about a dozen hotels in this neck of the woods over the years)

2241284-1-hotel-south-beach-guest-room-5-rtsscreen-shot-2017-03-02-at-8-44-37-amScreen Shot 2017-03-02 at 8.44.27 AM.pnghackertype-access-granted

All of it.  Genius.

Night 1 dinner:

Matador Room (Jean-Georges restaurant at the Miami Beach Edition) for a late din.

First they sat us inside for a hot second – no bueno.  Then we requested to move outside into this paradisio.


very bueno.


What we ate:

everything DELISH.

What we drank:

Martinis – obvs

followed by you guessed it – some local craft beers which made us full – womp

P.S. This creepster asked to take our pic on the way out and I’m bummed I didn’t take him up on it.  No documentation of our trip besides a terrible pool selfie.  NEXT TIME.


Where we went for a nightcap:


sake to me, baby.  There was also a DJ.



Day 1:

Breakfast at the Sand Bar


yes, please thank you.

There was even plenty of green juice for Long.


Wait I forgot to tell you there was even a Soul Cycle for Long!


And yoga on the beach and all sorts of “fitness” . . .

I opted for Frosé all day at the Main Pool instead.




Then horseface dragged me away from the 1 to a local brewery in a sketchy part of town  – you can skip this part of the itinerary or read about it here.

Screen Shot 2017-03-02 at 10.42.37 AM.png


Night 2 Dinner : Pao by Paul Qui

Or as I like to call it . . .


money spot at the glorious Faena.

This joint is BANANAS.


Damien Hirst abounds.  We sat beneath the 6 million dollah golden unicorn statue and ate and drank our faces off.


We couldn’t choose from the glorious menu items so requested a tasting.  Every. Plate better than the next.  Every. glass. more divine.



I can’t be sure of what from the menu we tried but it was all perfection.

I know I started with a drink with an actual rose in it . . .


and it was uphill brownout city from there.  I recall pink veuve and foie gras and trying to get a pic of the famous uni.

(see camera roll)


And I know Horseface almost asked our fabulous waiter (Ned) for toothpicks to prop my eyelids open by the end of the meal.


Day 2:

The 21 and over Rooftop Pool!




Absolute heaven.  Zero, I repeat, zero children to be seen or heard.



(This pink concoction was called Please, Tickle me.)

 Only fabulous views, tunes & drinks.  Totally chill and amazing vibe.

My apologies to Chris Moore for this insanely terrible video.

I make no apologies for my voice of an angel.

This was the bathroom view.

freaking #DAYLIFE

yes, please, forever.

I NEVER wanted to leave the pool.  But the sun began to set . . .

. . . and then the pool attendant asked me if I needed help, as if I was in distress, from across the entire pool due to my alarming “dance moves”. That helped send me on my merry way.


peace out, pool boy.


I’ll be back.

And I’ll be back to fill you in on the second half of our trip, too!


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